1. Prepare to become a local legend
Everybody loves three legged cats. Absolutely everybody. Even the man next door who didn't like you at all when you had four legs will say "Ah!". Make the most of your fame and use it to your advantage.
Train the paperboy. He will think you are so cute that he will turn up with little treats for you hidden in his pockets, you will hardly be able to keep up with him as he does his round because you have to keep stopping to eat them.
The two children across the road will fall in love with you and worship you. Allow them to pet you, then they will feed you bits of chocolate biscuit when they think no-one is looking.
When your human pet has gone to work, hang around looking very sad and neglected. You will be able to persuade the nice lady who lives up the road to set out early for work, just so that she can stop and make a fuss of you. When you sneak into her house later on, she will feed you little dishes of tuna fish, allow you to sleep in front of her fire and play with her own cat's toys.
2. You will discover just how stupid some humans can be
Some foolish people will completely fail to notice that you only have three legs. They will make stupid remarks such as "I think your cat's limping, is he alright?" Do these humans really think that you can't run about on three legs? They seem to manage, even though they only have two. Do not allow these idiots to rub your ears, for they are not worthy of it.
3. Develop some new climbing techniques
At home, you may need to be more imaginative. When your human pet thinks that an unattended dish of trifle is out of your reach, you can prove her wrong, by climbing onto a chair, then jumping onto the table, before finally launching yourself at the work surface. Mmm custard, your favourite thing in the world...
However, it is best if you do not attempt to climb any tall trees, this will result in an undignified failure. Instead hang around on the ground looking disinterested and mock the four legged cats who attain more height, but who look most ungainly as they clamber upwards.
4. Play cat and mouse.
Hunting birds is more difficult when you have only three legs, it is so much more effort to leap in the air. You may prefer to develop a taste for mice instead. When you get really old and lazy you might even try hunting worms. Or slugs. (But don't let your human pet see you do that, or she will shout "Yuk!" and decline to cuddle you.)
5. Train your human pet to pander to your every whim
Your human pets will worry greatly about your three legged status and will be acutely aware of your every difficulty, so make the most of their feelings of guilt and use them to your advantage.
In the first weeks after your operation, decline to eat anything apart from the finest cuts of meat. Your humans will be extremely vexed about your health and will happily serve your choice of food.
When you begin to recover, pull your claws wildly on the carpet of the bottom step of the stair and on the base of the sofa until your dozy humans get the message and provide you with recumbent scratching facilities.
Once you are fully mobile, remember to look as if you are struggling from time to time, this will allow you to keep your human pets' undivided attention. If you see one of them walking home laden with as much shopping as they can carry, hop out pathetically to meet them, making sure that you appear to be struggling to walk, then ride home in state, sitting on their shoulder whilst chuckling inwardly at how much they are struggling to carry you and all those bags. Once you have reached home in this manner and been placed gently back at ground level, run off at top speed with no difficulty whatsoever.
You will quickly discover that your three-leggedness is not necessarily a disadvantage as some humans might think; in fact it often makes it much easier for you to train the local humans to worship you and do your bidding.
